Victorians were fond of rules and rituals, especially in social occasions and for lifetime events such as weddings and funerals. Elaborate mourning customs were the etiquette of the day, especially after the death of Prince Albert, the husband of Queen Victoria. Many of the customs originated or grew in popularity in Great Britain but soon found their way to America.

Rules governed everything from the duration of mourning to clothing worn to social appearances made. There were even different levels of mourning, especially for widows. Deep or full mourning was the first and heaviest level often kept for a year followed by second mourning and then half mourning. Mourning also differed depending on who had died. Spouses required the most mourning with widows in mourning for two years or more. Widowers were expected to be in mourning for a year. Parents grieving for children or vice versa also spent at least one year in mourning. The deaths of other relatives such as grandparents or siblings required at most six months.

Garments were black and trimmed with stiff crepe and tulle. At the end of each mourning period it was acceptable to wear lighter colors but this was done gradually. Widows wore veils over their faces for three months and then down the back of their bonnet for an additional year or two. Men wore a dark suit with black gloves and hatbands and often a black armband as well. Children were not excluded from wearing appropriate mourning attire.

Jewelry was generally not worn during deep mourning but after that jewelry made of jet or similar black materials was popular. Mourning jewelry often contained a photograph, drawing or painting of the deceased. It was also popular to collect hair from relatives to remember or honor them. This hair was often woven into jewelry. Hair wreaths or ornaments were also made as remembrances of those who had passed away.

The family of the deceased decorated the front door with crepe, covered their mirrors and drew curtains over the windows and stopped the clocks. Many times, the deceased was kept at the home until the funeral. Family or close friends stayed with the body to watch over it during visitations and to make sure that the departed really was dead. After the funeral, the family of the departed and especially widows did not attend social events while in deep mourning. Many remained in seclusion and did not see visitors either. For most, mourning eventually ended though some like Queen Victoria never really emerged from it.

People living in Fort Bend County followed much the same mourning rules. The Fort Bend County Museum’s collection has examples of funeral announcements with black borders often indicating that the funeral would be in the home and then end in the cemetery.

Historical facts and photos courtesy of the Fort Bend County

Museum Association, Richmond, TX